So you're saying there's a chance....

I have a reputation for speaking in song lyrics (often unintentionally, I just realise after I've said it). But sometimes it's (deliberately) dialogue from films. Both me and Mrs H will announce a discovered non-trivial problem to the other by saying "Hello Houston. We have a problem." (This is a common misquote. The actual line spoken by Apollo 13 astronaut Jim Swigert and used in the film was "Um, Houston. We've had a problem").

Another favourite comes from Dumb and Dumber, where Jim Carrey's tongue tied character says to the attractive woman:
What do you think the chances are of a girl like me and a guy like you.... ending up together?
Eliciting the icily polite response Not good.
You mean not good, like one out of a hundred?
Bringing the even cooler I'd say more like one in a million.
This response is slowly digested, Carrey's serious face breaking into a grin:
So you're saying there's a chance. Yeah!

Me parroting "So you're saying there's a chance" always makes Mrs H smile, as she knows I've recognised that, whatever dumb proposition I've just propounded, has a one in a million chance of getting her agreement.

Which brings me back to the current real dumb and dumber subject, Brexit.

What I hadn't factored in to the Brexit negotiations outlook was personal ambition. It's obviously there in the Tory machinations - Boris's scheming, the others jockeying  behind May and Corbyn's positioning based primarily on making mischief for the government rather than any principle. And dear old Nick Clegg, still hoping we exit Brexit so he can have a go at being an EU commissioner (a scurilous suggestion, I know, but am I totally on the wrong planet there?). But I hadn't considered it on the EU side.

It is being reported that Michel Barnier harbours ambitions to take over from Jean Claude Juncker as EU Commission President. This is one of the 5 EU presidents, which tells you a lot. Well, I was sure there were 5 but the EU's website now only lists 4. If they think that's a positive rationalisation, I think I despair of them even more than before.

Be that as it may, Juncker's term ends in October 2019. So if Barnier can get a deal by the time his clock stops ticking in March 2019 then he could be a candidate. Of course  it can't be a deal that influencers in the EU think is generous to the UK. But it can't be no deal either, or we'll sort everything out later, in a transition period. And it can't be less than half-baked, even if he hands over to someone else to tie up loose ends.

So, maybe there's a chance of a deal. Whether it's any bigger than Carey's one in a million chance with the woman we'll just have to wait and see. You've got to ask yourself one question. Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

These three lines are, of course, the actual dialogue that Clint Eastwood's Dirty Harry says in the eponymously titled 1971 film, after musing out loud whether he has fired five or six shots. It's often misquoted as "Do you feel lucky, punk?" Of course, Harry Callahan had only fired five shots, so the punk got blasted by the Magnum 44, "the most powerful handgun in the world". We haven't got a BATNA (see post of 20 October). Maybe we've got a Magnum? If so, I'll bet it's Walls, not Smith and Wesson. Make mine a white one. At least that won't blow my head clean off, even if we crash out with no deal.

However, now I've got Dumb and Dumber in my mind for the two chief negotiators, David Davies and Michel Barnier. It's a mental image that will take some shifting, as it's alarmingly apposite.

PS I've remembered the 5th EU President, which they don't list on their website, is the President of the European Central Bank, which I accept is a separate, defined and valid role. It's the other 4 I have a problem with, especially since the EU seems so proud to have 5 presidents, given it's press release on the five presidents' report on strengthening monetary union published in 2015. Even if I could be convinced that the other 4 were required roles, it shows such a lack of imagination in calling them all "president", doesn't it, Bruce? (A comment which will be lost on you if you have never seen the Monty Python sketch)